While Autumn isn’t my favourite time of year, I do always look forward to the Agricultural and Pastoral (A&P) Shows that come with that season here in New Zealand. When I was growing up, the side shows were always my favourite spot and I’d spend hours wandering around there indulging in too much candy-floss before going on the Ferris wheel and Chair-o-plane. Inevitably, after all the spinning around, I’d spend the rest of the day feeling motion sick and sorry for myself.

I’m a little too old for such things now, and wasn’t too upset that the Ferris Wheel was nowhere to be seen this year (possibly due to the ongoing aftershocks?). There was a very fine bouncy castle in the form of a sinking ship, and I did mutter the obligatory ‘yarr!’ as I wandered by and wondered how many shots it would have taken to sink her.

As an adult, I gravitate more towards livestock, handicrafts and stalls. I also indulge in entering a few handicraft items for judging (alas, nothing as exciting as a familiar as first prize, but there is the occasional ribbon to be had!). This year I had great success gaining both first and second prizes, but as my entries were the only two in that particular class it wasn’t a difficult thing to achieve (although it would have been extremely embarrassing if I’d not been placed!).

Now that my favourite part of Autumn has been and gone, I'm resigning myself to the colder weather that will soon be here. I've stocked up on wood for the fire, have new needlework projects at hand to keep me busy and am looking forward to many cups of hot chocolate in front of a warm fire while watching it rain outside. This year, I've decided to embrace the cooler weather and enjoy it rather than be taunted by my fellow Oceanmasters bragging about their warm sunny days.

That is my story, and I'm sticking to it!

From now until 3:00 PM PDT on May 21st, 2012, you'll earn a FREE Banana Box for every $9.95 you spend on doubloons or every month of subscription time you purchase! That's 5 Banana Boxes for purchasing a $49.95 package, 12 Banana Boxes for purchasing an annual subscription, or even more! Featuring the seasonal color Banana, each Banana Box has a fantastic prize inside, including some brand-new surprises, such as the new Banana Dog pet, the Banana Snake familiar, or the Banana Monkey! What monkey wouldn't love being Banana?!

There's a bunch of other great prizes available, as well: Banana sloops, Banana furniture, and even Banana Spring and Summer trinkets! Don't let it be a cruel, cruel summer: peel open a Banana Box right now! For a full list of available prizes and other more detailed info, the official rules can be found here.

Good luck, everyone!

Technology continues to leap forward here on the Puzzle Pirate seas. Why, it feels like only yesterday that some forward-thinking genius out there invented the top hat, and soon afterward, the felt chamber pot. Even so, it's a red letter day for us all here at Puzzle Pirates HQ as we're pleased to announce that the very first Steam Class Sloop has rolled off the production line!

Or, well... I guess it sailed off the production line. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here.

The Steam Class Sloop is sturdily built out of only the finest and most buoyant bronze available. We asked one of the engineers exactly how this worked, but he just threw an empty rum bottle at us and called our mother something uncouth. We're going to assume this means that it's a "trade secret".

But surely you must be thinking... how does it all work? What is this strange device in the hold? Why aren't we giving you a chance to ask these questions yourself? Well, dear reader, through an advanced alchemical process known as "ocean potion locomotion", this "engine" found in the belly of the ship makes very loud noises and belches poisonous smoke. Meanwhile, alcohol, in the form of rum, is pumped from the ship's hold into the pirates crewing the vessel. This increases morale significantly, giving them the energy they need to sail the ship forward, as well as to survive the incredibly toxic smog being put out by the engine. Did we mention that the smoke was ridiculously dangerous, odorless, invisible, and has no real effect on gameplay? I feel like we forgot that part. At any rate, it's very hazardous. Don't inhale it.

Oh, it's not all ridiculously-light brass and poisonous fumes, however. The Steam Class Sloop also has all the trappings you'd expect to see in a Limited Edition ship of its caliber: a sturdy vault door sealing the captain's cabin off from the rest of the ship in not-quite-airtight comfort, the finest in bronze cannonry and fittings, and even an extraordinary automaton figurehead! While we personally feel that it's a metallic monster whose existence challenges the very notion of our humanity and what ethical lines should be drawn when pushing the limits of technology, our artists thought it was "neat".

The Steam Class Sloop is only available for the month of May, however, so speed on over to your Shipyard and buy the ship of tomorrow... TODAY!

Oh, and by the way... We've also turned top hats on for purchase for the duration of the Steam Class Sloop's availability, because frankly, if you're half as excited about this as we are, you're going to need a place to relieve yourself, and quickly.

Avast ye defenders o' the free archipelagos, ye knights-errant o' the briny deep!

I be the gilded pirate Goldtooth Glittersleeves, Secretary o' the Treasure, and this be an official-like announcement - so set yer deadlights on me words and mark 'em well... It be my great honour to announce the release of the Gold Box!

Ah, the plunder has been a'flowin' heavy of late, and we at the Department have taken a portion of the surplus and appointed the finest of goldsmiths to fashion it into loot befitting our noble pirate natures and pack it into shiny Gold Boxes!

Aye, noble indeed! For hasn't it fallen upon us to put our courageous hearts to the test and battle the wickedest forces on the high seas, the fiercest of sea-monsters and to repeatedly send the Empire the message that they don't yet rule us all? Indeed, be we not the last free folk o' the sea, robbin' from the rich and givin' to the poor? True, the poor has mostly meant ourselves since most of us were as poor as wharf-rats when we first went "on the account" - but that don't take away the fact that we're an honorable and princely lot, says I!

It be in this spirit that we've created the Gold Boxes and distributed them to banks across the ocean, installing a shiny new golden safe in each bank to hold these grand new glittering goodies!

And in addition to the lustrous loot, we've engaged the services of exotic beast-tamers from the furthest reaches o' the world to add a rare few magickal beasties to the fare!

We've also employed gifted ship designers and ye'll be able to turn in yer Gold Box trinkets for glorious Gold Class Ship designs at ye olde Trading Post.

The first shipment be ready now, but after that, the Gold Box will only be available for a two week period every other month, since "acquiring" the raw materials takes a wee bit o' effort and not a few deeds of daring-do!

SO! If ye be needin' even more explanation than all that, feast yer eyes on this summary o' all the fiddly details. Otherwise, put on yer fancy boots, stump yer intrepid ol' bones down to yer island bank and TREAT YERSELF. Ye've earned it, mate!

T. Hieronymous "Goldtooth" Glittersleeves
Secretary, Department o' the Treasure