From now until 3:00 PM PDT on May 20th, 2013, you'll earn a FREE Banana Box for every $9.95 you spend on doubloons or every month of subscription time you purchase! That's 5 Banana Boxes for purchasing a $49.95 package, 12 Banana Boxes for purchasing an annual subscription, or even more!

Each Banana Box features a prize in the seasonal color of Banana, including a new Banana Octopus with Hat familiar, a Banana Snake Familiar, and a slew of Banana furniture and ships. If you live to collect trinkets, there's also an array of 12 old and new Banana trinkets. I promise the old ones don't have brown spots.

Good luck and don't slip on your way to the login screen! For a full list of available prizes and other more detailed info, the official rules can be found right here.

Operating under a shroud of deception and feints, fleets of smuggling ships have silently filled the ocean's Black Markets with brand new Series 4 Black Boxes! These new boxes reportedly contain a bizarre bundle of Smuggler and Vampire furniture along with a number of varied and shadowy Sea Turtle pets.

Rumors are spreading that some of these boxes containing deadly Booby Traps! There's a chance you could lose an eye, a hand, or a leg when opening one of these new Black Boxes, so be warned!

But perhaps that's right up your alley? In any case, creep on over to your local Black Market to engage in some dubious dealings! If you've simply got to know what's inside, you can take a look at the full list of contents right here.

Shadowy agents of the Black Market want everyone to know that it has become prohibitively difficult for them to stock the Series 3 Black Box with black and shadow unicorns. The following is copied from a note that I found pinned above my bed with a bloody dagger:

Series 3 Black Box supplies to expire on May 1st.
Last chance to buy remaining black and shadow unicorns.
Blood is fake.
This time.
Kidding--black humor.
There I go rambling.
Maybe why they took my tongue.
Let me know if you find it in a box sometime.

XOXOX,
Loose-lipped Lawrence, formerly Chatty Lawrence

Blow the gilded loot trumpets, the Department o' the Treasure has dispatched its heavy-laden fleet of restocking vessels with a brand new series of Gold Boxes!

The Department's famed bushwhackers have been researching techniques that allow them to cram these sparkling new boxes with two new species of pirate-friendly critters: the Toucan and the Sea Turtle! The Toucan is an exotic bird with a colorful bill and, when tame, is quite content to perch on a pirate's shoulder. In contrast, tamers have been unable to coax the Sea Turtle into perching on pirate pauldrons, but these gentle grazers are more than brave enough to flip-flop alongside for your swashbuckling endeavours!

Talented goldsmiths have also been hard at work crafting a glittering showcase of new trinkets to fill out the assortment of ornaments already found in these glorious Gold Boxes! Freshly gilded pins, goblets, and other such novelties are now available to collect, trade, and pose with, much to the envy of your glint-aware bird friends.

Bankers across the seas will be carrying these new Gold Boxes until April 15th, 3 PM PDT, when the Department o' Scryin' tell us these new boxes will be exhausted! For a full list of Gold Box rewards and a breakdown of prize distribution, click here.

The Department o' the Treasure has been made aware of something called "ecological collapse" and has henceforth been instructed by the Department o' Public Relations to stop taming dragons and unicorns--which coincides with the Department o' Suspicious Coincidences being unable to locate more of these creatures, so I suppose this arrangement works out just fine for everybody. Information leading to the Department o' the Treasure's previous conclusion that these creatures had simply entered into a long period of hibernation has proven to be false. The Department o' the Treasure would like to apologize if its actions have in any way caused extinction-level damage to these noble populations. It would be a shame if future generations only knew of them by legend and myth!