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Hephaestus' Forged Letters

A Tale Writ In Blood

This week, I've been asked to look into one of the game's greatest mysteries. Kraken. What are they? Where are they? Are they related to the sea monsters of Atlantis? Why does their blood come in buckets? And just how do the brigands get so much of it?

Well, gentle reader, let me tell you a tale. Because while this started out as a lighthearted experiment, it ended as one of the most shocking discoveries I have ever uncovered! So, if you have the nerve, the stomach and the spleen for it - read on!



My initial investigation led me to conclude that the best method of comparing Kraken DNA with Gorgonyx DNA would be to compare samples of the two. Having some Kraken's Blood handy, I needed to acquire a gorgonyx. Fortunately, these come in a handy pocket sized trinket size. I set out to acquire one, following the best practice in scientific procurement.

A Tale Writ In Blood

Having secured a gorgonyx, I took it back to my alchemical laboratory to perform an analysis.
A Tale Writ In Blood

I concluded that a more fruitful line inquiry might be to seek the source of Kraken's blood. It's well known that this commodity can only be found on board the toughest of brigand vessels. Hence, I resolved to find such a vessel, board it, and track it back to its origin.

Here we are! Attack!
A Tale Writ In Blood

Fools! They suspect nothing! The Brigands close in for the kill.
A Tale Writ In Blood

I feign unconsciousness, sneak away from the fray, and board their vessel!
A Tale Writ In Blood

A Tale Writ In Blood

I check their chart, and find they've come from the Redoubt of Depravity and Chaos. I jump ship, leaving my crew of swabbies to keep the brigands occupied, and make for their base on magical winds.
A Tale Writ In Blood

Making my way through the undergrowth of the isle, I come upon the ancient ruins of a building, rubble on the surface, but with stairs down, from which an evil smell eminates. I make my way down...
A Tale Writ In Blood

I find myself in a large alchemical laboratory. By the vats, presses, grinders and wringers, all stained a deep black, I can tell that this is where the stuff is produced. I hide behind a stone pillar, and observe a shadowy figure hard at work - it is Cephalopod! So, it is he who manufactures the stuff, and releases it to the brigands, to distribute to the oceans!
A Tale Writ In Blood

But what of the raw materials? What is is made from? Something sends a chill down my spine, so I do not approach Cephalopod to ask. I spot a store cupboard at the rear of the laboratory. Can this be where the secret is kept? I creep over to it, and with shaking hand, slowly open the door...
A Tale Writ In Blood

NO! It can't be!
A Tale Writ In Blood

I grabbed as many of the poor creatures as I could, and fled. But two terrible mysteries were solved that night - where 'Kraken's Blood' comes from, and why the developers won't let you have a black octopus...

Comments:

Posted by Lcawte

Haha! You got told off! Pirates may soon be getting their hands on the source of all this KB :O

Very interesting blog!

November 15, 2009 at 01:15 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Barney

Best. Blog. Ever.

November 15, 2009 at 02:21 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Castawayjoe

It's like Soylent Green except... black.

November 15, 2009 at 03:39 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Someone

I wonder ow a ship marked "Sailors" could ever distribute krakens blood? but then again, I got some while soloing on my sloop...

November 15, 2009 at 03:41 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Someone again

sorry for typo above

November 15, 2009 at 03:42 PM PST | permalink

Posted by randompanzy

you know you have wayyyyyyy to much time on your hands :P

cool bloggy though :D

November 15, 2009 at 03:49 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Maia

Best screenie of Ceph ever <3

November 16, 2009 at 06:05 AM PST | permalink

Posted by BehindCurtai

Rofl!

Do watch out for Gaea, while she is kind and gentle and sweet as long as you behave, do try to stay away from her bad side. Err, not that she has a bad side, I mean, umm, I think I'll shut up now.

November 16, 2009 at 08:26 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Sharkiez

Love it! 5 stars!

November 16, 2009 at 10:36 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Barbarosa

That was awesome :)

November 19, 2009 at 03:19 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Pepperminty

Haha!
Love it!
XD XD XD

November 21, 2009 at 06:08 PM PST | permalink

Posted by Queasy

Brilliant! Love your experiments!!

November 25, 2009 at 10:28 PM PST | permalink

Posted by saphireangel

this really tickled me pink!
poooor octopi....
how many octopi did u manage to save Heph? can i keep one safe for you?
i promise i'll give my pirate life to keep it safe from Ceph!

November 26, 2009 at 02:11 AM PST | permalink

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Lol. XD

Whenever I need to laugh, I know where to come to. v.v

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