After the recent announcement that there is a new kind of familiar in preparation, speculation has been rife. Well, I say speculation. Arguments, fighting and open warfare are more like it. On at least one ocean flags have formed sides along the "It's an owl, doofus!" and "It's obviously some kind of fish, fool!" lines. I think there'd probably be open war, if it wasn't for the fact the "Duh! It's a vulture!" faction wasn't poised to sweep in and take on the victor in their weakened post-conflict state.
I can't let this go on. It's tearing the game apart. I have to step in now, and at the risk of my position here at Three Rings, reveal exclusively just what this familiar is!
I was first alerted to the existence of the new familiar, when I heard Galene, Gaea and Hera whispering about it. They stopped when they saw me, however, which only served to make me more curious. I resolved to track one of them down, sneaked aboard Galene's ship, and hid. (Top Tip, would-be stalkers, if you're hiding, you may find that there's insufficient cover. Do what I do - bring your own elephant to hide behind. It makes you very difficult to spot.)
Soon enough, she came on board, and the amazing secret was revealed!
Yes, amazing though it may seem, it would appear that the new familiar is the Hephaestus Doll
But wait, that's not all. What's this odd shape here?
Let's use the Three Rings CSI image enhancificator to clean that up.
Egad! And... Can it be...?
Well, clearly we're into very interesting territory here. The real question is how deep does this go?
What we clearly need here is some kind of supercollider to put this doll in. So I mailed them at CERN and asked them if I could have a go on their Large Hadron Collider. I waited a while but they've not got back to me on that, alas.
So, I had to make do with what I had, and sorted out something to hit an OM Doll really hard, to see what happened:
So, what started out as an investigation into the shiny new familiar has not only solved that mystery, but also led us, quite by accident, to discover the fundamental particles of the universe, and the origins of existence itself. Which is nice.
Posted by Hephaestus in
Oct 16, 2008 |