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Hephaestus' Forged Letters

Seasonal Science - Results!

Over the past three days, I've been all over battling all kinds of folk and finally, we have enough data to perform an analysis!

Now, as the previous post stated, we're looking for the mean average score of participants in each category, where the highest possible score would be 18 (for an Able participant utterly pwning me) to -18 (for myself utterly pwning an Ultimate opponent.)

Before I get to the scores, I must first point out an error in my experimental design: in jumping onto an ocean and fighting the first ten or so participants who sent me a tell, I was effectively challenging the ten players with the quickest reactions on each ocean. I don't think this was necessarily something that invalidates the result, but it certainly didn't do an awful lot for my self-esteem. So while I think the ranking is correct, I think maybe if I'd been more random, the average scores would all have been lower, and I wouldn't have given away quite as many prizes as I did.
(I was also fortunate enough to jump into the middle of a sea battle in which we met and defeated the Widow Queen! So I can tell you that whatever headgear it is that guarantees victory, it is not a ludicrously bouffant hairdo.)

The average scores, for each category, in reverse order were:
Rank-based Hats : 2.25
Normal Hats: 2.8
No Hat: 3.22
Seasonal Hats: 4.47

An incredible result for the seasonal hat there!

It would seem that in general, then, a hat is a handicap for the swordfighter, likely blocking their peripheral vision, distracting them at crucial moments, and so forth. The fancier and shiner the hat, it would seem the worse this effect becomes. This becomes obvious when we consider the constituents of some off the hats in question:

Bandana:
1 unit of basic cloth = 0.7kg , 1 litre volume.

Captain's Hat
7 units of fine cloth = 4.9kg, 7 litres volume

Crown
6 units of fine cloth = 4.2kg, 6 litres volume
10 gold nuggets = 4kg, 10 litres volume
2 units of iron = 15.6kg, 2 litres volume
TOTAL = 23.8kg, 18 litres volume

When you look at it that way, it's hardly surprising. It's amazing that someone wearing a crown can actually stand, never mind engage in a sword fight. Even the captain's hat works out to be rather unwieldy, and hampers one while trying to walk through narrow doorways.

Which brings us to the Seasonal Hats. Since they actually improve performance, they can't be made of heavy materials. And we know this to be true - seasonal items cannot be made in tailor shops, and are created in the Palace Shoppe, using the hopes, dreams and kind thoughts of good little boys and girls. This is why wearing one has such a positive effect. Cephalopod obtains this material by distilling good little girls and boys in his laboratory. It's an excruciating process, but no effort can be spared in order to bring holiday cheer to you, our wonderful players.

Many thanks go to the many pirates who helped me assemble the data for this investigation:
Aborigine
Ajson
Allibeth
Allice
Arceus
Autastic
Axlex
Bigbro
Blown
Boggybloo
Captinsav
Chrustschov
Ciel
Cornflaxes
Crazyfor
Deathdoucall
Disappear
Dwight
Empires
Fayann
Feesh
Fenror
Fleurs
Hurten
Jessoleil
Krevuq
Lasmoline
Longjonslvr
Merrcurry
Mistikpirate
Nicolette
Noody
Nukalicious
Nymphete
Oneiromancer
Peguno
PokerladyCaptains
Poltergeist
Ruhannah
Seaweedbrain
Skyhighh
Soulsearcher
Sred
Sugarboy
Swordfanatic
Sxfghjtwo
Taksas
Tease
Tonko
Twinkle
Urtz
Xinil
Yankeejr
Yupthatsme

... and of course the many, many more pirates who volunteered to assist, but whom I was not able fight due to pressures of time. Your willingness to further the cause of Science! is greatly appreciated!
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