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Hera's Blog

Confessions of an Oceanmaster, Part One

by Hera (age three and three-quarters)

I recently asked on my Facebook page for some help with inspiration with my Blog, particularly if there was anything anyone wanted me to write about. The responses were varied and showed that a worrying proportion of our Puzzle Pirates are fixated with cats. One idea that stood out was 'Top 10 pet peeves'. This suggestion scared me a little at first. Could I confess my top pet peeves without being forever more taunted with them? Possibly not, but once the idea had crept into my brain I just couldn't get rid of it. So thanks Gneiss Rock for the suggestion!

When I started writing I thought that ten would just be too many peeves to come up with. Afterall, I'm a calm and benevolent Goddess and not many things make me glare at my screen and grind my teeth. So, I was going to limit myself to five. But funnily enough, once I started it was remarkably easy to come up with a ten. I even had to leave a few out!

So, at the risk of being forever more taunted with these. I present my pet peeves (in reverse order):

  • The complete lack of pet peacocks in the game. *pouts* Demeter got her pony! I want a peacock!

  • Folk telling me that [insert random Oceanmaster name, except Apollo] is better than me. The Goddess Hera was renowned for her jealousy and was rather vain too. There was a reason behind me picking that name...! Don't make me jealous...you wouldn't like me when I'm jealous...

  • Folk telling me that Cronus is nicer than me. I can only put this down to Cronus having a special fan fund dedicating to buying a pirate's favour. I really can't understand why anyone would think he is nicer than me. HE EATS BABIES, DON'T 'YA KNOW?!

  • Complete lack of penguin pets in the game. Seriously. We need penguins!Penguin

  • Folk taunting me with chocolate. You know who you are...

  • Apollo being so totally AWESOME. Why is he so AWESOME? Is there nothing he can't do well? I think not! The only thing that prevents him being Ultimate in awesomeness is his persistent love of the colour yellow, particularly when it comes to hats. (We all know that purple is a far nicer colour). And that he has cost me quite a lot of money over the years in ruined keyboards due to his ability to time the punchline of funny jokes just at the point that I'm sipping on tea/coffee/beverages.

  • Galene making in game declarations that it is my birthday which generally result in me being spammed by congratulatory tells. While I appreciate the kind feelings behind such tells, it is NEVER my birthday when Galene says it is. Never EVER. She is a tricky Goddess that needs careful watching and plays far too many pranks.

  • Time traveling gerbils. You wouldn't believe the mess those critters make if allowed to run free...

  • Cephalopod removing my 'Ye Win' button due to 'persistent abuse'.*

And my top rated pet peeve is....

  • Licking. Worst. Thing. EVER! If you emote a lick in my direction I'll likely run screaming. I've never understood why anyone would think that licking someone as a greeting is a good idea. If it isn't socially acceptable in real life, please refrain from doing it in my direction in game!

*I may be making this up...

Comments:

Posted by Rikko

Ok... Eventually, peacocks, penguins and no licking !

Dya think that twould be good to have "Keep licker at bay" like we have a "mute" button ?

By the way, Hera is also the godess of the house and family*, greenies feel like ya are looking over yer shoulder when they hear "diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiner" fer the 12th time while they have some more important things to do like making some lil colored balls going the right position...

I will wotever answer the question ya did forget to ask : yes, we love ya, even when ya are jealous !

*fortunatly she have enough worshipers so she don't need to wash the dishes

November 09, 2011 at 11:56 AM PST | permalink

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