I saw one of those questionnaires finally made its way to Shore Leave. (Why Did It Have To Be The One With Every First Letter Capitalized and QUESTIONS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS???!) I don't normally answer any of those because they're very long so I lose interest a few questions in, but I thought it would be fun to answer as Hypnos, and since I can abuse my godly powers to misuse capital letters myself and cut the questionnaire as short as I like, I couldn't resist:
1. Were you named after anyone?
MY MOTHER WAS NYX, NIGHT ITSELF. I WAS THERE WHEN THE FIRST CREATURE CLOSED ITS EYES IN REST. I AM THE FIRST, I AM ETERNAL, NONE CAME BEFORE ME, AND I WILL BE UNTIL THE LAST CREATURE OF ALL CREATION CLOSES ITS EYES FOR THE LAST TIME. SO NO.
2. When was the last time you cried?
A MAN SLEPT ON WHILE HIS SOULMATE, THE PERSON HE HAD YEARNED FOR UNKNOWING SINCE HE TOOK HIS FIRST BREATH WALKED PAST HIS APARTMENT DOOR, TO THE WINDOW, SOBBING WITH LONELINESS, AND PLUNGED TO HER DEATH. I DID NOT WEEP.
I WATCHED THE PEOPLE OF ATLANTIS SLUMBER PEACEFULLY WHILE THE SHINING SPIRES OF THEIR CITY SLID BENEATH THE WAVES. THEIR BODIES SANK SLOWLY AWAY WITH ONLY BUBBLES TO MARK THEIR PASSING AND STILL I DID NOT WEEP.
TODAY SOMEBODY ASKED ME WHY ANOTHER PLAYER WOULD NOT RETURN HIS MONEY AFTER HE HAD BEEN SO HELPFUL AND CREATED A NEW ACCOUNT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS BANNED, AND I SCREAMED LIKE A NEWBORN HUMAN CHILD.
3. Do you like your handwriting?
WHEN I WRITE IT IS WITH THE SAND OF DREAMS. IT FALLS, SPARKLING UPON MORTALS FROM THE STARS. MY WRITING MIRRORS THE PATTERNS OF CREATION, THE PULSE OF LIFE AND A BEAUTY THAT CAN ONLY BE SEEN AFTER EONS OF OBSERVANCE. I GUESS IT IS OKAY. COULD USE A LITTLE MORE FLOURISH ON MY ZS.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
BLACK FOREST HAM
6. If you were another person would you be friends with you?
MY TWIN IS THANATOS. WE ARE ONE, TWO HALVES OF A COIN. ALL CREATURES MUST SLEEP OR THEY DIE. IF ALL CREATURES DIE THERE WILL BE NO SLEEP. WE BATTLE ETERNALLY AND YET ARE NEVER APART. I HATE AND LOVE MY BROTHER, BUT HE IS NOT A FRIEND.
7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? WHAT SHOES?
While all of you folks know about the main duties of an CceanMaster- answering petitions and addressing complaints, you may not know about one of the less frequent, but most important jobs that I take very seriously as an OM: animal adoption.
Now and again, I get a petition from a person that picked the wrong color pet from the palace shoppe, or did not mean to purchase a pet at all. I refund their money and pick the pet up off their hands, but what then? The poor animal has no place to go, and 'Trash' is simply not an option.
Thankfully as an OceanMaster, I have access to an allotted sum set aside for unwanted animal care. OOMPAH, or Overseeing OceanMasters for the Protection of Animals' Happiness, has given me access to vessels to house these creatures. I've even named some of them in honor of their humble beginnings.
I can hear what you're asking. "But Hypnos," you might say, "What about tournaments? Can't you find these animals loving homes by putting them up as prizes?"
"Haha, well young pirate," I would answer, "you have to put that in the form of a petition. Go to the YE tab, press the HELP button, then press PETITION. I'm not answering tells."
We had a party at the office recently to celebrate the launch of currency over on Whirled. Unfortunately I didn't get pictures of the police who showed up because they thought we were ravers that had broken into an office building and were having an impromptu soiree. That's always the hallmark of a good party.
Pictures of the party and the awesome stack-of-gold-bars cake can be found here on the Flickr page: Three Rings Bling Party. While chocolate cake isn't normally my thing, I'm rather regretting not trying some now. By reports the bling cake was chocolate, coffee, and lemon frosting. I'll be adding comments and descriptions and the like. Enjoy!
As an OM I'll tell you this
No matter which festivities you throw
Always people will boo and hiss
"This isn't my favorite game, you know.
I only see tournaments of THIS type
I never see tournaments that I want
The other puzzles get all the hype
My neglected puzzle is left to haunt
The inns, unwanted and loved by none."
Drinking, treasure drop, and swordfighting too
Rumble included, I make every one
Only to have sad pirates hiss and boo
And send me the sad tells that they have no fun.
Heh, I really like putting up tournaments actually, but it never fails. You put up one of any type and you get the following tells: "Why is it always X? I NEVER see Y!" "Why is it always Y?! I NEVER get to play Z tournaments!!" "WHY WHY WHY WITH THE Z WHERE TEH SCUPPER IS THE LOVE FOR A" - I figure this is because the people who like the puzzle are all busy joining the tournament and playing.
This was inspired by some poetry-petitioning folks on Malachite, for whom I felt I would be remiss if I didn't try to write some verse back, however appalling.
Double post because I missed last week and well, because we can:
Such was the cleverness of their disguise that the folks in the front room barely glanced up as they went YARRing by. 'Pirates? We have pirates coming through here all of the time! They must be for Hypnos.' No alarm was sounded.
They fought us with tinfoil swords! They took prisoners! They left us a plank.
Clearly, reciprocation was in order.
To their credit, Instructables was better prepared for the attack. Spying us via security camera, they pelted us with marshmallows and wads of paper before retreating to their inner office to be wholesale slaughtered.
Reeling in shock and horror, surviving Instructables members posted pictures aplenty in their blog, mourning the loss of their robot mascot and young, innocent intern.
Back at Three Rings HQ, the undead congratulated themselves with some drinks, some intern brains, and taught the robot mascot how to play Rock Band.
Some more zombie attack pictures can be found on undead Annie's Flickr page.
Happy Wednesday, blog readers.
Having recently updating you as to some happenings at the office, I thought this week I'd try showing you some things that happen over a the course of a normal week during the oceanmaster shifts that are part of my job.
Working an oceanmaster shift, as many of you have no doubt guessed, isn't all zipping around in a gold rocket car for hours on end. You get asked a lot of repetitive questions, you deal with bad things such as thefts, and you meet a big range of pirates, from scammers and thieves to friendly souls who want to say hello. Naturally the good and interesting outweigh the bad, and I've met some of the friendliest pirates, from a lass on Viridian who sends me virtual food whenever I'm on duty there, to some pirates on Malachite who made me a little shrine out of crates and bedrolls. (They then tried to trap me in it and make me their pet oceanmaster, but I won't hold that against them.)
Starting with last Wednesday, I specifically kept an eye out for petitions or situations that I thought you all reading here might find entertaining. These are all genuine situations or petitions, though the names of pirates, people, crews, etc. have been edited out.
Petitions we get that stand out from the usual fare of questions range from the strangely obvious:
"in the manual for navagation it says you need to be an officer in a crew to control a boat but be able to control it what if your not in a crew or you are just a pirate or lower will you"
To the bizarre: (special oceanmaster tip : use punctuation and format!)
"ok it was this day that j**** call my mom crazy and shes said not to tell my mom, she said if i promised i said yes and i cross my finger them i told her i was going to tell my mom and i was but i didint couse i forgat so she decided to do revange and she have alot of things with her first pirate j**** she told me she pay some people for they could give her all my item to her other pirte o**** ."
(Petition subject: "Please dont!!!")
"i believe that my friend,****c, sent a pettition about ****** ******(crew), he was acting very rude and my friend stood up for him please dont kill my crew i love it very much please dont!!"
To the WAT:
"what is the in steronterns to Trusher hule?"
More commonly, I get really friendly petitions asking me to come visit, or to come check out somebody's house, or even invitations to pillages and sea monster hunts. I'm usually too busy answering other petitions or dealing with thefts or scams to give more than a polite decline and a thank you, but when I get the chance, I try to chat with people, sometimes with the oddest results:
***z tells you, "Wanna go to Atlantis with me? =P"
You told ***z, "What kind of vacation invitation is that?!"
You told ***z, "Who makes faces when asking somebody to the beautiful waters of Atlantis?"
***z tells you, "My face is stuck that way. =P"
***z tells you, "It was a tragic childhood accident. T_T =P"
You told ***z, "I can just imagine your future. 'Will you marry me? =p'"
You told ***z, "'I cannot live without you. =P'"
***z tells you, "Why must you mock me so? T_T =P"
***z tells you, "You've hurt me deeply today. I don't think I'll ever get over it. =P"
People tend to flock around an OM when we stand on the docks or in a building. I'm not sure what the appeal is, but they do ask very nice questions, and seem to really like discussing what it's like to be an oceanmaster:
P***** says, "u know wat sucks.. u have to use proper grammer."
I***** says, "i could never accustom to proper grammer"
H***** says, "me either"
One of the things I like best about being an oceanmaster is recoloring familiars and renaming them for people. I like to plonk down a big vat of dye for recolors and use a big eraser for renames. And it leaves the most awesome vessel/house logs if I retrieve the familiar from a wardrobe:
July 17, 2008 4:09 PM Hypnos has left a Snuggles.
July 17, 2008 4:08 PM Hypnos has taken a Arsonist.
Finally, one thing about being an oceanmaster is getting e-mails and letters from folks around the world who would like to bring the fun they get from the game to other languages. A young man created a very cute blog in Hebrew and he's very eager that I hurry up and share it with other people through this blog. Enjoy!