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The Spyglass

Some Assembly Required

In the ice-choked seas of the far north, the Toymakers toil through spring, summer and autumn. Compelled, perhaps, by forgotten oaths or an ancient and primal desire to spread merriment and joy, they painstakingly craft shipments of shiny new playthings. As the days grow short, they load their baubles and gewgaws by the cartload into a fleet of waiting merchant vessels, southbound for ports across the ocean. And the pirate folk feel the nip in the air and know these shipments soon will arrive.

But a rumour has spread among the brigands, those scurvy cut-throats who care nothing for the spirit of the season, that "thar be rum in them tubs". And so they've fallen upon the toy-laden fleet, seizing the Toymakers' goods and smashing them into pieces in their rage that nary a drop of rum could be found within!

From now until January 4th, battles with Brigands and Barbarians have a chance to award special toy part trinkets as prizes! Sets of toy parts may be brought to trading posts and assembled into brand new toy furniture items: adorable yeti dolls, festive drums, and curiously small cannons! Decorate your home, pose with them in portraits, and satisfy yourselves by giving a good wallopin' to bands of miserable marauders!

So reclaim what was yours and teach those roaming scallywags that it's a lot more polite to simply buy rum! Join a voyage to hunt down some toy parts today, they'll only be available in pillages until January 4th!

Tinsel and Treasure!

Cold Hard Cash!

Piercing gales and tenacious ice barnacles make the life of a pirate particularly challenging this time of the year. Luckily, there's a new Gold Box to warm the hearts of all pirates until the springtime thaw.

December's Gold Box introduces Scarlet Shampoo, the only way to get the new Scarlet hair color! There's nothing like a head of blazing bright red hair to express just how warm that heart of yours is during these long winter nights! It also has the added bonus of making you look particularly fierce to all those scurvy blaggards out there! Trust us, you won't miss having to actually set your hair on fire in order to achieve the same results.

For those of you who absolutely need to have the intensity of a live flame as close to your head as possible, this Gold Box will also include a chance at three toasty new colors of Dragon Familiars: Red, Maroon, and Persimmon.

If fiery hair dye and dragons aren't enough to keep your spirits warmed, remember that December's seasonal color is Wine! Collect Wine Gold Box trinkets and Wine Chromas while they're available. Also be on the lookout for a new White Icy Unicorn and a king's ransom of gilded goods if the combustion motif doesn't fit your style. See this page for a full list of prizes.

The December Gold Box is available now at your local bank, but supplies will run out on the 17th!

December's Ship is a Winner!

You asked for it, we heard you, and then we waited a while, and then we all went out for drinks, and then some of us did our laundry, and then we had the strangest feeling like we were forgetting something, and then we remembered what it was, and now... it's here! By popular demand, the Limited Edition ship for December is the Casino Class War Frigate!

Here's the main "casino floor" room down in the hold, complete with every kind of parlor table you could dream of, as well as more poker and Treasure Drop tables than you can shake a croupier stick at!

And what casino would be complete without a plush VIP suite? This one even has its own tank of tropical fish! Lions and other exotic pets sold separately.

We saved the best for last, however... Deep down in the hold are a working roulette table and a working craps table!

Use 'em to play with for fun with your hearties, or to roll up a random number for whatever reason you might need one. Break ties! Determine who gets first pick of duty station, and who is stuck swabbing the deck! Make important life decisions! It's up to you.

The Casino Class War Frigate is the premier ship for excursions to Atlantis, but don't gamble on it staying around any longer than the month of December, so roll one up for yourself right now!

Right About Time for Wine!

Wine Box!

We here at Puzzle Pirates HQ are folks of simple tastes. We feel that old traditions are among the best ones, and so we like to celebrate the harvest season the way it's been celebrated for hundreds of years: we take a bunch of awesome items, stuff them all into boxes stamped with question marks, and then give them away! Some of you may take issue with our grasp of history. In our defense, our history is probably a lot more interesting and fake than yours*.

From now until 3:00 PM PST on November 19th, 2012, you'll earn a free Wine Mystery Box for every $9.95 you spend on doubloons or every month of subscription time you purchase! That's 3 Mystery Boxes for purchasing a quarterly subscription, 5 Mystery Boxes for purchasing a $49.95 package, or even more!

Every Wine Mystery Box contains a cool prize. What's new this month? Well, the Wine Box contains a variety of previously unavailable furniture from past Limited Edition ships! If you've been coveting fantastic furni like the wine crates from the Smuggler Class Sloop, or the elegant bookcase from the Vampire Class Sloop, this is your chance to snag them for yourself. There's also a wide variety of other Wine-colored prizes available, including unique Wine Box trinkets, Wine Dogs and Wine Octopus Familiars!

Don't get stuck whining about missing out: snag a Wine Mystery Box of your own right now! For a full list of available prizes and other more detailed info, the official rules can be found here.

Good luck, everyone!

* For one, ours has a lot of robots in it. Also, Blackbeard was a velociraptor. From space.

A Monster of a Hallowe'en Event

Hallowe'en season is once again upon us, and with it, my yearly campaign to get everyone at Puzzle Pirates HQ to trendily refer to the holiday as "Ween". This year, my efforts are proving to be wildly unpopular, but I won't give up! Giving up is totally against the spirit of Ween. I think.

But what about all you eager, Hallowe'en-observing pirates out there? Does Uncle Ween have a spooky gift for you this year inside his mystical Box of Hallows? Considering that I just made him and that up, probably not. But we here at Puzzle Pirates HQ do: a special Trick or Trinket event!

Until the end of October, all Sea Monster Zones and Brigand King skirmishes have a chance of giving out special Hallowe'en candy trinkets as prizes! You can collect and swap these trinkets with your hearties, or you can save them up and trade them in at the Trading Post for cool monster dolls you can hold in portraits. There are three in all, one for each type of roving monster: skelly, zombie and werewolf!

We've also taken this opportunity to make a bunch of Hallowe'en themed items available once again, so if you've been waiting all year for your chance to pick up a mask, or bone cannons, or other scary pirate gear, your wait is over!

All of this fun stuff will only be around until the end of October, so hop in-game and scare up some candy right now!

A Ship Just Right for a Pillage by Night!

There are precious few things we're afraid of here at Puzzle Pirates HQ: bubble wrap, running out of caffeine, movies about misfit sports teams that pull together to win the championship. The thing we're most afraid of, however, is vampires. I mean, they want to suck your blood. I need my blood! All of it! That's why we've decided to stick to good, clean ship themes this month, so what better way to celebrate heading back to school than with the Math Class Sloop!

Wait a moment. I'm being told that the Math Class Sloop isn't a real thing, and instead this month's ship is the... Vampire Class Sloop? OK, that's cruel, guys. Not cool. You know I just got comfortable enough to not run away screaming whenever I see someone sneeze into their sleeve.

You know what? I'm done. Someone else can describe this month's ship. I'm going to go hide under my bed.

- Hermes

Ar! - an' good riddance to ye Hermes, ye lily-livered lubber!

All right mates, strike yer deadlights on that figurehead. She looks a right thirsty flittermouse out on her nightly hunt, and she don't look the type what hunts bugs and the like. So, what do ye suppose she's huntin' for? I'll give ye a hint: it be red, most folks think their's be precious, and it ain't no plundered rubies that I be speakin' of! In any case, I've no doubt in me mind that yer guano love it! HAR HAAR!

Now here be the lovely Rowan standing on the deck o' her new Vampire Sloop. Lucky lass! Word 'round the shipyards be that some fancy-pants blue-blooded bloodsucker designed this vessel hisself, and I believe it too! Just look at them dark colours an' blood red accents, not to mention the fancy bits what reminds ye o' the olde castles them blokes be known for. Vampires may be guilty of a lot, but theys never been guilty o' bein' unstylish, and this vessel be dressed to kill!

An' what's this, Rowan me lass?! Well blast me cross-eyed an' call me a codfish! It looks like there be a resident revenant on board! Well me darlin', he looks a nice enough lad, but I hope havin' him 'round won't end up bein' a pain in the neck - HAR HAAAR!

Ah, now ain't Mr. Nickydeemus a fine, fanged fellow to be showin' ye around the place, Miss Rowan? Seein' as how ye're to be shipmates and all.

An' what a stately place it is too, most others pale in comparison - HAR HAAR! Thar be fancy candelabras what can make the room a relaxing deep red, an' there be more of 'em 'round the ship, says he. An' that's quite a regal looking throne me dear, the perfect perch for sittin' and plannin' yer next pillage while sippin' that...uh...wine? Ye might want to be stockin' yer own drink there me lass.

A fine hold she has too, an' no mistake. Refined and genteel with just enough touch o' the grim to keep us feelin' properly piratey (we do have our fearsome reputations to protect after all). Aye Mr. Nix, thar be a fine grand old bookcase, don't ye agree Miss Row - what's that? Pullin' that book does what now?

Blimey! Yer a naughty ol' nosferatu Mr. Nix, with yer wee secret crypt!

Well Miss Rowan, I suppose this explains where yer new shipmate bunks down. But by me beard, it seems a fine secret hold for treasure as well, an' what pirate doesn't want that? Also, upon reflection - or lack thereof in yer case mate - it also occurs to me that she'll always have herself a keen-eyed night's watch with ye aboardship, Mr. Nix! We all know there be a lot at stake when ye take to piracy on the high seas. But when ye've a fine ship like this, it's nice to know ye ain't been pillagin' in vein! HAR HAAR HAAAR!

Mates, ye too can fly across the midnight seas an' drain the loot from yer victims in a ship like this. But The Vampire Class Sloop is only available for the month of September, so be sure to creep down to yer local shipyard and bite at this offer while it's still livin'. And may she forever sail the moonlit seas!

All That Glitters!


Been watching the countdown for a while? Well, your moment has arrived: the Gold Box is back in stock at your local Bank until August 13th!

New items this month include Deep Gold Unicorns, Violet and Purple Dragons, Gold Dread Masks, Mossy Mousse hair dye, and a slew of Gilded furniture, including new storage items! And don't forget: this month's seasonal color is Plum, so this is a great chance to collect some Plum Gold Box trinkets and snag a few extra Plum Chromas!

The full prize list can be found over here, so read up and head on over to your nearest Bank. There's gold in them coffers!

The Shark Ship Redemption!

It all started with us receiving a report here at Puzzle Pirates HQ of sharks in the water. Normally we wouldn't bother ourselves with such trivial, non-puzzle related matters, but we've never been ones to pass up the opportunity for a field trip, so we loaded a ship up with rum and headed out to sea in search of sharks.

Long story short, we quickly got off track because of the rum, and if there were sharks we missed them*, but that didn't stop some of us from discovering new and creative ways to injure ourselves**. The trip was plenty inspiring, however, so much so that we've put together a brand new Limited Edition ship for August: the Tiburon Class Sloop!

By the way, if anyone sees Fishheadred clinging to some flotsam somewhere in the Meridian Ocean, please send word: his wife is pretty worried.

Here is the Tiburon Class Sloop's quarterdeck and helm, complete with diving bell, crane and... shark cannons! We're pretty sure they're not made out of actual shark, so go ahead and fire them to your heart's content!

Here we see the Tiburon Class Sloop's figurehead at its most fearsome! If you're not certain what species of shark that is, just remember that it's one of the ones that wants to eat brigands.

Down in the Tiburon Class Sloop's hold, the bilgers will be kept company by a lovely aquarium that a small shark and a few exotic fish call home. Don't worry: that glass is extremely thick!

The hold also has a plushly appointed sitting room, overlooked by a majestic mounted hammerhead! Oh, and there just so happens to be a sealed hatch in the back, leading down to...

A shark tank! Woe be the jobber who walks the plank from the Tiburon Class Sloop: that shark's been working hard to keep up with the ship, and is bound to be hungry...

The Tiburon Class Sloop is only available until the end of August, so bite into one soon!

* Except for Eightycats, who claimed to see dorsal fins about every thirty seconds.
** It turns out that sticking a sword rack on the quarterdeck was a horrible idea, though I think Forculus looks better with that peg leg, anyway. Greenbones would agree with me if he could still see out of both his eyes.

2012 Pirate Summer Games!

Ahoy, ahoy, summertime swashbucklers!

We know you're probably neck deep in Sail Patching at the moment, but hear us out: there's excitement afoot!

From today, Friday, July 27th, until 10 AM PDT on Monday, August 13th, the Pirate Summer Games are on! Every pirate in the ocean has been randomly assigned to one of five teams, each named after a different monster from Greek mythology: Cyclops, Gorgon, Cerberus, Hydra, and Minotaur. Check the Competition tab on the Notice Board for more info and to confirm your team assignment.

Ready to go for the gold? You can score points for your team in one of two ways: by defeating members of other teams in rated one-on-one puzzle battles (Swordfighting, Rumble, Treasure Drop or Drinking), or by winning one of the numerous Puzzle Competitions that will be running during the event! Keep an eye on your Ahoy tab in the coming days for more information on upcoming such Competitions!

Every participant will get a cool Summer Games themed trophy, so what are you waiting for? On your mark, get set... GO!



At a recent meeting with Captain Cleaver, the Puzzle Pirates team was given explicit instructions not to make any plum puns when talking about the upcoming Plum Mystery Box event. When we jumped in to say that we prefer to call plum puns "plumns", we were all flogged to within an inch of our lives. After a bit of rest and recovery*, we're back to tell you all about the new stuff available in July's Plum Mystery Box! In a mature and respectful tone, of course, because we're pretty sure that the Captain reads this blog and I, personally, can't bear to spend another afternoon cleaning the quarterdeck with a toothbrush.

So, what's new in the Plum Mystery Box?

  • All of the trinkets in the Plum Mystery Box are new and unique to this month's event, and every single one of them can be held in portraits. Not only that, but the trinkets in the Plum Mystery Box can be traded in to your local Trading Post for Plum Chromas! Coordinating your perfect summer outfit has never been easier**.
  • For a few of you lucky mates out there, each box has a chance to contain a new, never-before-seen Plum Panther*** pet, or even a super rare Plum Octopus! Both are fine additions to any respectable pirate's menagerie.

So, when can you get your hands on all this great new booty? Well... Right now! From now until 3:00 PM PDT on July 23rd, 2012, you'll snag a free Plum Mystery Box for every $9.95 you spend on doubloons or every month of subscription time you purchase! That's 5 Plum Boxes for purchasing a $49.95 package, 12 Plum Boxes for purchasing an annual subscription, or even more!

If all that sounds good to you, head on over and grab your boxes right now! If you're more of the ponderous type, you can find all the gritty details without all the interminable chattering over in the official event rules.

Good luck, everyone, and here's to a great summer on the high seas!

* We were plum tuckered out. WAIT NOOOO
** Mine involves both plum and lime green. Don't judge me.
*** We originally wanted to make a pink-colored panther, but somebody sent us a rather threatening package of fiberglass insulation and we lost our nerve.

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